The Princess and the Problem
by spacegypsy1
Summary: A Daniel and Vala fairy tale of mayhem and mistaken identify. With SG-1, Sam, and a bit of Jack. RATED T!
1. Chapter 1

The Princess and the Problem

spacegypsy1

A Daniel and Vala fairy tale of mayhem and mistaken identify. With SG-1, Sam, and a bit of Jack. RATED T!

**CHAPTER ONE**

The chiming of the alarm, soft and melodic, woke Daniel. He smiled, reaching over and shutting it off. He never used the snooze, and certainly not in the last few weeks.

The numbers glowed steady. 0430 hours. Due at the base for a 0700 meeting, he'd purposely set the clock early.

Snuggling into the warmth of the body spooned against him, Daniel nuzzled her neck. "You're awake."

It wasn't a question.

"Go back to sleep, Daniel."

"I don't plan on wasting the morning." When she didn't answer he figured she'd probably been awake for some time dreading this. "Come on, Vala. Spit it out."

She made a little spitting sound. "There. Done. Now go back to sleep."

Daniel rolled to his back and placed an arm over his eyes. "We've been over and over this. We've talked it through. It's what we decided. You and me. We accepted the guidelines. Are you going to waste our last morning together for the next few weeks, pouting?" He sighed, once again turning to cuddle against her.

Vala moved slowly, coming fully around to wedge a knee between his legs and wiggle her arm under his far enough for her hand to caress his back. "Yes. Let's not talk. Let's just lie here and breathe."

Laughing, Daniel pulled her closer, burying his nose into her hair.

"It's not funny," she mumbled, then gasped when his hand ran across her bare hip. "Not fair," she complained breathlessly.

"Shh," he whispered, "talk later."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"I don't understand the rules!" Vala buttoned her pants slowly.

"Vala!" Frustrated, Daniel yanked the black T-Shirt over his head. "We have to be at the SGC in thirty minutes."

"Maybe I should stay here." She snapped out, snatching up her jacket.

Eyes narrowed, Daniel threw his hands outward. "What!? Are you nuts!? You can't stay at my place alone, besides, Sam's counting on you. Please put your boots on and let's go."

"Well, I think it's ridiculous that we can't go out on missions together."

He let out a heavy sigh, dropping his head. After a moment, he raised his eyes to her. "It's temporary, they have to okay it, since we're...you know, together."

"Stupid Tau'ri." Vala grumbled, lacing her combat boots. "What do they think? That I'm going to seduce you at every moment? Sneak into your tent? Strip you naked and manhandle you in public!?" She raised dark brows and glared.

Grabbing his jacket, Daniel let out a derisive laugh. "Seeing as that's what you used to do at every turn, every moment, every mission, what else would they think?" He placed a hand on her back, handed her bag to her, and gently shoved her out the door.

"Agh!! I have NEVER stripped you naked...in public!" Vala tossed her hair and scurried forward, got in the car, and slammed the door.

Sitting behind the wheel, Daniel remained quiet for a long moment. "Vala, I don't want to fight. Can't we just follow the SGC's mandate, at least for now? Let's give them time to digest it all." He looked sideways, towards her, grasping her hand and gently squeezing. "We'll be fine. Right now, we take turns off world, unless one of us is needed more than the other. Like this mission. It's a lot of diplomatic treaty work. I have to go. At least Sam got permission for you to help out on the Hammond. So, really, just two weeks apart. Me on the planet and you flying around somewhere above me." He waited for her to reply, but she stared out the passenger window, remaining silent. "Vala?"

"You know, darling," she said, finally looking at him. "I'm quite the diplomat when I choose to be. It is my turn, and this just isn't fair. You, Muscles, Mitchell, Sam, and even Dr. Lee are all going to be gone! We all know I can't work with Marks, he's...well...wonko! He'll be difficult. Sam should know that. I should be able to go to the planet with my team. I mean, really, Daniel, if something goes wrong you all might need me."

"I promise to be very careful, not take any undue risk, if you promise not to blow Sam's ship up while you're trying to hijack it with your tests. Okay?"

Nodding her consent, Vala reached to pat his thigh. "Daniel, we're late," she said with a mischievous grin.

Daniel looked at his watch. "Shit!"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"So, Sunshine, you decided to grace us with your presence?" Mitchell shot Daniel a pointed glare.

Jerking his thumb behind him at Vala, Daniel didn't bother to answer his CO. He took a seat, nodding respectfully, and apologetically, at General Landry.

Vala walked the long way around the conference table with her absolute best sullen, dejected look...shoulders slumped, head down and breathing consisting of sighs and groans oscillating from one person to the next as she passed.

Only Sam bothered to give Vala a sympathetic nod. Feeling put out and without anyone commenting on her misery, Vala plopped down in the only chair left. The one across from Daniel. Pulling her legs up to her chest, she ignored him, and wrapped her arms around her knees.

General Landry stood, shot Vala a reproachful glance, and began outlining the mission.

Vala barely paid attention; instead she fidgeted in her seat, obviously bored beyond redemption. Off and on, either Daniel or Mitchell would catch her eye, scowling in a way that conveyed their disproval of her actions. She didn't care. She'd gotten the gist of what the general rambled on about.

They would be taking the George Hammond to some P something or the other, Boldera, the natives called it, where Naquadah mines abounded, Goa'uld slaves had been set free and abandoned years ago, the Stargate had been buried, and the DHD had been destroyed.

Daniel would lead the discussions on a treaty for Naquadah. Mitchell would have a team to map the mines. Teal'c would confer with the five tribes to consolidate and then dig up the Stargate, and Sam and Bill Lee would reconstruct the DHD. SG-2 would assist in helping rebuild the towns and restoring the agricultural basis of their economy. SG-3 would remain on the Hammond as backup, and Vala suspected as a deterrent to her 'escaping' to the planet.

Vala was delegated to the Hammond to create, as well as run, simulations of a hijacking, thus testing the crew and teaching them how to override the takeovers. Blah, blah, blah. In other words, her team would be on the surface wheeling and dealing, camping out, and having a good old time, and she would be darting around over the planet teaching the crew how to get out of trouble. Not very interesting. Boring, to say the least.

Landry was still rambling when Vala raised sultry eyes to Daniel and winked.

"It's not just the technology, or the mines. These people have a store house of Goa'uld treasures to support their effor...."

Vala turned and grinned at General Landry. "Treasures? Did you say treasures?"

"Yes, thank you for finally joining us!" Landry's bush brows twitched in Vala's direction. "There are several abandoned Goa'uld palaces, and thirty or more smaller – Lesser Gods – temples. These have never been raided. The storehouse of goods could be a solid core for the planets' financial base. They need help in selling off the items to boost their economy. The entire planet's economy is close to collapsing...they need our help."

Pausing, the General looked pointedly at each member. "It is their desire to return to a farming based, self sustaining existence. They are willing to let us mine the Naquadah in exchange for our assistance. They can sustain their planet on the money received for the Goa'uld artifacts...treasures... alone, but they have no way to get these items to market."

"See! See!" Vala chirped excitedly, unfolding her legs and leaning forward as she glancing around to each person, "I should go. Who better than me to fence...er...sell Goa'uld trinkets? I'm the expert, as everyone knows...."

General Landry interrupted, "Correct, however, we can have SG-2 tag and catalog the items and bring them to you...for your 'expertise', once the treaty is signed. You will stay on the George Hammond as ordered."

Two hours after the briefing, they were on the ship and racing towards Boldera.

As they approached the planet, Vala's team was cloistered apart from her to discuss their mission while she was sent off to begin her stupid tests!

~TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

_Testing, one, two, three_...Vala thought with a laugh, yanking down a wad of wires. Laughing again, she knew she was grateful for having found the yoga class on the base. Legs tucked under her, she leaned far back and wiggled her hand way up under another panel, pulling those wires loose.

"Good. Perfect in fact." Vala straightened her tangled body, ducking to avoid the open panel door, and sat back to study the wires. "Which goes where? I need to focus!"

Stripping a wire from each set she'd pulled loose, she wound them together, receiving a little zap of energy in the process. Still hot! Just like my Daniel. She missed Daniel already and he wasn't even gone yet!

Eyes rolling upwards in thought, Vala day dreamed, her mind turning back to the day... THE DAY, it all began.

IT all started with an overheard conversation.

Sam had a short layover and confessed her need for something 'girly' to do. So Vala had gone on one of those now rare expeditions with Sam, her second favorite thing to do. But halfway through a pedicure, the _Hammond_ called from orbit and Sam had to leave.

Dispirited, Vala returned to the SGC, and headed directly to Daniel's office to annoy him...her most favorite thing to do. Part of annoying him, was sneaking up to his office and then suddenly announcing herself...you know... "Miss me!" Blurted out loud enough to make him flinch.

So there she was. Right outside his office, stopping to make sure all was quiet and ripe for...well...blurting.

"Vala deserves more, Jack." She heard Daniel say. "I'm not really modern relationship material. I did okay for ancient times – Sha're never expected much from me. Grind a little flour. Herd a few unrecognizable animals that looked like overgrown rats. And teach her about reading her own history etched out on the walls in ancient text. But Vala? I couldn't begin to live up to her expectations."

Biting her lip, Vala leaned against the wall for support. Silence followed, and she knew Daniel must be on the phone with Jack. She waited, heart beating fast.

"No." He commented on whatever Jack had said. "I'd rather see her happy with someone else, then to be happy myself. I'd make her miserable. No matter how much I...lo...care for her."

Silence again, then Daniel said something low, she couldn't hear, and finally a mumbled, 'bye'.

Overwhelmed by what she heard, Vala closed her eyes going through a myriad of emotions, ecstatic that he cared, despondent that he didn't care enough to try. Pushing away from the wall she turned to run.

"Vala?" Daniel said with enough of a nervous tremor that it was obvious he knew she'd overheard the conversation.

She ran. Ran as fast as she'd ever run, darting through the personnel, desperate to find somewhere to hide.

He was gaining...damn those long legs of his! And yelling, "Vala! Vala! Vala!"

Without thinking, she hopped an elevator and made it to the top level, and still running as if some demon chased her, she dashed right past the check point desk.

The guard stood suddenly, "Ms. Mal Doran! You didn't sign out!"

Twirling as she ran, and moving backwards towards the exit, she yelled. "Daniel's right behind me, he'll sign me out! Stop him, he just might forget!" And out the door she went.

Now what? Vala looked left and right. Damn. It was quite a haul across the parking lot to the street. And then what? Turning abruptly, she checked to see if Daniel was out yet. No. Good. Vala took off to the right and straight up the mountain.

Lungs close to exploding, she trudged on, half crawling up the mountainside. She could hear him. Right behind her. Slipping, she slid back, landing at his feet. Right below those long, strong legs of his!

He pulled her up. She fought like a madwoman. He tried to pull her into his arms, she beat his chest.

Barely out of breath, he told her, "I'm sorry...I didn't...I wouldn't have...damn, Vala, I never..."

She hauled off and slapped the hell out of him! "How dare you! How dare you make decisions that affect me! Who do you think you are? You couldn't live up to my expectations! I'd be happier with someone else! Gods! How would you know that? You never – ever tried!" She looked him in the eyes, and with a tone of undeniable truth she told him, "I hate you!"

He blanched, nearly tripping as he took a step back. "No. Oh God, Vala, don't hate me, please don't hate me."

He tried to touch her face, but she pushed his hand aside. "Go away, Daniel. Just go away." She said it calmly, all the fight suddenly knocked out of her. Daniel really did care for her and he thought he wasn't good enough! Well isn't that just perfect! "All this time... you let me think I wasn't good enough for you."

"I never said that!"

"No, I guess you never said the words."

Daniel did something he'd never done before. He didn't sigh, he didn't look away, he didn't shuffle his feet, glare, drop his head down, stuff his hands in his pockets...he didn't even try to right his glasses that tilted precariously on his nose. He didn't take those lovely blue eyes off of her.

"You know, Daniel, I could have been happy letting you grind flowers, herd cats, read ancient tests."

His mouth twitched but she had no idea why. "Vala," He said without much ado, "You're every man's dream. Smart, funny, beautiful, wild, crazy, adorable. You're my dream. But...I'd bore you to death."

"I'd take you prisoner, darling, tie you to a chair."

"I'd ignore you when you needed attention."

"I'd show up with handcuffs."

"I'll grouch at you when I'm busy."

"I'll annoy you until you stop being busy."

"I'll talk more."

"I'll talk less."

"I'll...I'll go shopping with you...some."

"I'll, well, I'll stop using your credit card."

"No you won't."

"Right." Vala grinned, ducking her head.

Daniel moved closer, taking her face in his hands and lifting it up. "I...I..." His gaze dropped to her mouth. "I want to kiss you."

"Permission granted." Vala licked her lips in preparation.

He was fast enough to capture that pink tongue tip.

His mouth was every bit as sweet and hot as she'd fantasized about. And she'd kissed like the woman she was, with wild abandon, offering all she had and all she was - to him. And he kissed her back like the man she knew he was, strong, sexy, knowledgeable, intense, focused, hot...very, very....

Vala snapped out of her daydream. She had to 'be' with Daniel...and soon. Ha! That was about as likely as a silver platter piled with jewels suddenly appearing before her eyes.

~TBC


	3. Chapter 3

-0-0-0-

CHAPTER THREE

-0-0-0-

She'd stopped her musing about Daniel and got to work.

Someone approached, obviously Sam, since no one else knew where she was – crammed into a small space sabotaging the nav system of the _George Hammond_, and overriding the command codes. Hmph! "Well, I must admit," she sang out loudly for Sam to hear, "It is tougher than I expected; you've done a good job. However," Vala studied a crystal before shoving it into a connection it was not intended to fit. "I have managed to..."

"We're leaving." Daniel spoke quietly, standing in the small entryway.

"Oh." Vala stared at the array of wires she'd pulled down earlier. "Well, darling, have fun, be careful. Bye."

Daniel took off his glasses, pinched the bridge of his nose, and stuffed the eyewear into his vest. "Kiss me goodbye."

"Ha! Not allowed. I have work to do here and it is very, very, detailed and takes my total concentration in order to beat Marks! I've rigged up a cascade, once he fixes one, it will jump to the next and he will be driving around in circles."

"Flying around."

"What?"

"Nothing. Vala? At least look at me."

"Nope. And how did you find me?" She adjusted her position on the floor so her back was completely to him and he couldn't see the shine of tears that had, unexpectedly, filled her eyes.

He moved, crouching behind her. "Sam gave me a map to find you." Daniel laid a hand on her shoulder, rubbing slowly and affectionately. When she didn't respond, he whispered, "Okay, fine." Nuzzling the back of her neck between her two pigtails he mumbled, "Bye, I'll miss you."

Spinning around, Vala threw her arms around his neck. "I...I'll miss you. But, really, darling, this is what we have to do. I suppose I could forgive you and everyone else who makes me stay behind like a useless nobody."

"You're not useless, and you know that." Pulling away, he lifted her face to his and buzzed her lips with a kiss, before attempting to stand.

Vala latched on for dear life, rising with him. She pushed him hard against the doorframe, and kissed him, her hands wandering to places that were sure to make him sorry for leaving her behind. She found it a little disturbing when he didn't flinch, or attempt to halt her. And she couldn't stop the little devil in her from getting excited..._is he actually going to have sex in this tiny room-on this ship hurling through __space-on a mission! _It was so NOT like the stalwart Dr. Daniel Jackson and it really turned her on.

-0-0-0-

Totally ravished and completely sated, Vala straightened her uniform as she followed Daniel through the ships corridors. Neither spoke a word, Daniel, of course feeling guilty, and Vala smug and grinning wide.

As they reached the final approach to where Sam's crew would beam the others down, Daniel stalled. "They're gonna know." He complained, his tone reproachful.

"Not my fault." She laced her fingers with his. "Besides, they may speculate, but they don't know for sure."

He nodded, moving again. Turning the last corner, Daniel sighed. "Sam'll know."

Vala laughed, letting go of his hand as they entered the crowded room where her team along with SG-2, Sam, and Dr. Lee waited. Vala lowered her voice, "Why do you think she gave you the map?"

Daniel looked at her with a classic question mark lowering of his brows, then his eyes went wide and

his brows shot upwards. He hadn't thought of that.

When Mitchell caught her eye with a scowl on his face, Vala scrunched her shoulders high, grinned wider, and batted her lashes.

-0-0-0-

"Ah, damn! The princess won't be happy when she realizes she missed seein' all this in one pile, shinnin' like a beacon!" Mitchell eyed the opulence before him, gold medallions, chalices, priceless jewels, glittering crowns, beads and an array of small Goa'uld technical pieces.

The Five Tribe's chosen leader, Jeron, who stood beside Mitchell, took a step back and glanced at his peers. "Princess?" He whispered, interested.

Teal'c replaced the large amulet he'd picked up, and turned to Mitchell. "ColonelMitchell, I believe ValaMalDoran will be quite happy once it is all in her control."

"Jackson!" Mitchell yelled across the large room, startling the planet's leaders.

"Huh?" Daniel, face buried in a gold leafed journal, didn't look up.

"Your Princess is gonna be impossible to handle. Not that she isn't already. But, we might lose her for a month or two while she does her thing and gets all this stuff sold. Plans?"

Daniel slowly raised his eyes, confused. "Plans?"

"As in are you gonna traipse all over the galaxy watchin' out for her or not?"

"Oh. Of course I am, it's my job, right? A slave to her every wish." Daniel waved his hands up and down in a mock bow, laughing. "It's not like she's gonna let me out of her sight for much longer. But, Mitchell, don't we have to pass that by Landry?"

"Naw, somebody's gotta go and it ain't gonna be me. Not with the princess doin' that, nope. Ya know I love 'er, the big guy loves 'er, but not like you and not like that – we aren't her slaves, man. We're just her underlings."

Daniel grinned at Mitchell's teasing before turning back to the stash of Goa'uld journals.

Jeron, raised a brow, then motioning the other leaders to follow, he quietly left. Once outside, he spoke low. "They have a Princess! I am inclined to insist we meet her. Obviously, she is tempted by all this shinning clutter. Perhaps...we can entice her to rule our world, thereby uniting us once again. We have waited long for this opportunity. Some way, we must take her from the Tau'ri. She can oversee the mining. That may keep the Tau'ri from being angry, that and the Naquadah. Mayhap we should befriend her beloved slave, Jackson. He is evidently her diplomat also. These people have kept her hidden from us. She must be quite good, this Princess ValaMalDoran. Silus, do you not agree?"

"I do." Silus smiled broadly. "We shall negotiate this once we meet her and approve. They do all speak lovingly of her, as Jackson and Mitchell speak of this Princess ValaMalDoran with much reverence and laughter. And the Shol'va is most respectful of her. Hopefully she is not a hard task master."

Accepting nods of approval for the others, Jeron returned the room, calling as he came in, "Mitchell."

"Yep, what is it?" Mitchell turned to Jeron with a huge grin.

"We insist on meeting this...person who will be in control of our valuable assets."

"Er, ah." The grin faded from Mitchell's face. "Well, actually, I'll be in control. She's just our go between. We'll have everything cataloged and tagged for your reassurance."

"We insist. There is no discussing this. We must meet her. Please make sure she is at our feast tonight." Jeron turned abruptly and left.

"Holy shit!" Daniel dropped the journal and stood, locking gazes with Mitchell.

"You got that right! Once we get her in this room...there's no holdin' her back. We'll be in here for days while she oooh's and aaah's over every last coin."

Dropping his chin to his chest, Daniel mumbled, "And once she leaves that ship, it'll take Teal'c and all of SG-3 to drag her back up there."

"Crap. I better go up and contact Landry." Mitchell took off, grumbling under his breath.

~TBC


	4. Chapter 4

-0-0-0-

**CHAPTER FOUR**

-0-0-0-

Marks was livid and Vala was delighted. She sat in Sam's command chair, legs over one side and back braced against the arm rest, tiara perched just right atop her hair, eating an apple, her zat pointed at Marks' head. "Now, you scurvy Tau'ri, I say you all strip naked so I can lock you in the brig...and don't get any ideas, I've totally rewired it – so you can't get out."

"Okay, okay, I'll give you this one, Vala, but I'll be ready for the next one and you're going down! The crew is ready; I'm ready...so bring it on." Marks replied with confidence.

Swinging her legs forward, Vala stood, pouting prettily as Marks frowned up at her. "What? No naked in the brig? You're sooo disappointing! Fine. Let's do lunch before we begin again, I'm...."

Both turned as the console beeped and Mitchell barked out orders to bring him up. Vala grimaced, and Marks took on a more military demeanor.

"He's pissed." Vala whispered, worried.

"No joke." Marks manipulated the controls and Mitchell appeared, immediately taking Sam's chair. "Mark's patch me into the SGC! Now!" He turned with a big smile for Vala. "Hey, princess, would you do me a favor and bring me some iced tea from the mess?"

Vala nodded, smiling with relief that he wasn't mad at her. "Of course." She pivoted and ran from the room.

Knowing it would take a full minute to connect, Mitchell grinned. "Marks? How's the trainin'?"

Fingers still dancing over the com, Marks shook his head. "Not good, sir."

"Damn, she's a bit too smart for her own good. Ya learn anything?"

"Oh, yeah. She's real good, and she totally showed me a thing or two. Sir, General Landry." Marks cocked his head towards the view screen.

"Colonel, what's going on?" Landry, hands on hips, looked concerned.

"Well, sir, ah, we've got a little problem we have to work out." Mitchell pulled off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Could you elaborate?" Landry deadpanned when Mitchell just sat there shaking his head.

"Oh, sorry, sir. Vala."

Eyes narrowing, Landry barked out, "What has she done now?"

"Well, sir," Mitchell continued to shake his head slowly in exasperation, "it's not her fault."

"Excuse me?"

"The appointed speaker for the Five Tribes, Jeron, wants to meet the person who will control the treasures. And they already know her name, so we can't throw Carter in there, cause they already know who she is. So, sir...we have been notified that they require Vala's presence at the welcoming feast tonight...sir."

Other than flaring nostrils Landry remained calm. "Understood, keep me posted. Landry out."

The screen went blank just as Vala came in with Mitchell's drink. "Here you go, Cameron."

"Thanks, princess. Have a seat, we need to talk."

-0-0-0-

Ecstasy did not even come close to Vala's feelings on the subject of visiting the planet, talking with the leaders about the treasures, and most importantly, snubbing her nose at her CO, her best friend, her friend and protector, and her Daniel. _ Ha! The leaders insisted I be brought down. That will show those hotmails...er, yahoos._

-0-0-0-

Vala bounced into the gaily decorated room, her tiara atop her curled locks, wearing a flowing, flower child, full length dress and sandals. It was a party after all.

Jeron, along with his contingent of officials, stood and perfected a slight bow at her arrival. Obviously impressed.

"Hullo," she said with a beaming smile before joining her team, and Sam. She started to settle on the only chair left, right next to Daniel, since she assumed it was for her.

Jeron rushed forward. "My lady, please, join us." He pointed to the pink and gold tapestry chair at the head of the table.

"Oh, right. Perfect." Cutting her eyes to Daniel with an apologetic smile, she followed Jeron, who introduced her to the leaders.

"Do you need anything, my lady?" Lipkin, a round and jolly man, asked.

Vala smiled and pointed to Daniel. "Him."

"At your service!" Jeron sent a servant to bring the Princess' slave, Jackson, to sit to her left.

Once Daniel was seated, looking confused, the servers brought Vala a large golden goblet of fruited wine. Then, a gaggle of children brought flowers for her hair, and a young maiden served her a plate of fruits.

"These people are really nice, darling!" Vala smiled and gulped down the wine.

Daniel wondered...briefly...but he did wonder if she had somehow orchestrated this entire mission.

"What?" Vala asked, seeing her lover staring at her with that calculating glint in his lovely blue eyes.

"Nothing." Daniel's gaze cut to Mitchell and found the Colonel looking quite disconcerted.

-0-0-0-

Cam turned to Sam, "Carter, what the hell is that all about?"

With a little shrug, Sam looked perplexed, glancing up at the head of the table. "I have no idea. But don't you think she looks like royalty?"

The young woman who was pouring water into Sam's cup smiled shyly. "You speak of Princess ValaMalDoran and her beloved slave, Jackson?"

Spewing water, Cam nearly choked. "What! Jackson the belov... ah, I get it." The colonel grinned, blue eyes crinkled - sparkling with mischief. "Carter, look. He's sittin' to her left on a lower chair. And." He pointed at Vala. "They think princess is a Princess." Looking up at the young girl, Cam grinned. "So who sits at her right?"

"Why, her husband should she choose one, of course."

Laughing so hard he could barely talk, Cam coughed the words out. "So, when...Beloved Slave, Jackson, marries Princess Vala, and I'm sure he will sooner or later, he gets to sit on the right, in the big boy chair?"

The server look shocked and confused. "Your people... your Royalty...they can marry slaves?"

"Oh, yeah. That and lots of other things. Those two," Mitchell flopped a hand in Daniel and Vala's direction. "Jiminy Cricket! They're a piece of work. Now slave Jackson, well, he's the quiet type, but..."

The young women had turned away and stared dreamy-eyed at the couple. Without turning back, she spoke. "Who is Jiminy Cricket?"

Sam burst out laughing, and Cam grinned wider, shaking his head. "Probably what they'll name their first born."

"I see," the server set the water pitcher on the table. "But she can never be the Queen, if she marries the slave?"

"Well, Princess has already been a Queen. She didn't like it."

Teal'c leaned forward, nodding in the direction of the subjects of conversation. "ColonelMitchell," he said, voice low, then indicated the couple at the head of the table again.

Still amused by the server's misunderstanding, Mitchell picked up a bit of mystery meat from his plate, popped it into his mouth, and turned. He was stunned, coughing up the morsel when Jeron placed a silver platter in front of Vala, piled high with jewels.

~TBC


	5. Chapter 5

-0-0-0-

CHAPTER FIVE

-0-0-0-

"For you, my lady." Jeron said with a flourish, waving his hand over the mound of treasure he'd laid before her.

Once Daniel got over the shock, he cleared his throat, nervously. "Um, that's not necessary, Jeron. Vala doesn't..."

"Nonsense, Daniel. If Jeron wants to..."

Glaring heatedly, Daniel simply whispered, "no."

"Oh, how very disturbing." Vala smiled sweetly at their host. "Thank you. It's very kind; however, unfortunately, it doesn't appear that I would be able to accept your lovely offering. Though, it would be quite the party gift. But we'll see what I can work out." She turned towards Daniel. Having been met with the quintessential Dr. Don't You Dare Jackson's wide eyed, tight mouthed, clinched jawed, glower, Vala jerked her face back to Jeron. "No, no thank you, really, I couldn't."

"But, my lady, we do insist." Jeron cast his gaze to her slave, and then back to her.

"I see, well, in that case..." Vala swung her head to Daniel again, whispering, "He insists, darling!" Immediately, Vala pivoted towards Jeron. "I..." She stopped cold when out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Daniel standing up.

"Jeron," Daniel said quite seriously, and firmly. "Vala is touched by your offer. But it isn't necessary, she will take excellent care of your property and make sure you get the best price." He picked up the over laden tray of temptation, lifting it right from under Vala's nose, and handed it to Jeron. "Thank you, for the offer."

"But...but...Princess ValaMalDoran is known for her love of these glittering objects! We cannot take them back. They are for her," Jeron took the tray from Daniel and set it back down in front of Vala.

"Prin...ah, er, Princess Val...excuse me?" With his face contorted in confusion Daniel lifted the gift once again, and shoved it into Jeron's hands.

Vala, looking befuddled, sat very still, her eyes darting from one man to the other. Finally, she murmured, "Princess? Isn't that nice. He calls me Princess. Daniel," She placed her hand on the side of the tray that seemed to float above her, "let's take this kind offering back to the ship, we can include it in the stash...ahm...the cache of Boldera's Goa'uld artifacts."

Both men ignored her.

Jeron took a tighter hold on the tray just as Mitchell joined the fray, taking a firm grip on Daniel's arm and speaking in his ear. "Jackson, let's not rock the boat. If they insist, we'll have Vala accept. We can just toss it in the mix once she's back on board the ship – soon, I hope."

Daniel's jaw clenched, but he nodded to Jeron, taking the tray. "Thank you, Jeron. I will accept this gift for Vala."

Hand dropping from the tray, Vala blinked in surprise. "You will? Darling, that's so sweet of you!"

"Right." He said with just enough of a growl that she knew what he meant. "After dinner we'll take it to the ship."

Jeron watched the two with interest.

-0-0-0-

"Princess ValaMalDoran has been a Queen! But she did not like it and is a Queen no more. I have heard this from her underlings, Mitchell and Carter, the Shol'va does not speak much." The serving maiden, Millia, stood before the leaders of the Five Tribes, reporting as ordered.

"Did you ascertain why the Princess did not like being Queen?"

"Because," Millia answered excitedly, "she plans to marry her beloved slave, Jackson. She will not marry anyone else, she will not consent to a royal marriage. She will not let her beloved slave go. She wants to have his child – Prince Jiminy Cricket! She loves her slave so! And he loves her!"

Jeron thought about this news. "This information comes directly from Mitchell and Carter? They have spoken this to you?"

Eyes flicked aside for just a second and then Millia nodded. She was sure that is what the two Tau'ri had said...or at least inferred. "Yes, it is what they have told me."

Jeron thanked the girl and waved her off.

The leaders sat in silence for a while, contemplating their dilemma. Each knew the time had come to unify under the leadership of true Royalty. As in the days before the Goa'uld had completely wiped out the royal lineage. He voiced his other thoughts to his peers. Jeron had begun to consider the possibility that the beloved slave, Jackson, just may have come from royal blood himself. He certainly acted that way - very authoritative in his actions with the Princess. He could have been captured in some raid. Perhaps all was more than it seemed.

Finally, Cardil, the youngest leader stood. "There are no written laws amongst any tribe that a Princess cannot marry a slave. Or that a Princess married to a slave cannot rule. This concept has only come down from stories through the ages. The beloved slave, Jackson, has much knowledge and many skills that will help her rule. I agree with Jeron, this man must have royal blood! I say we approach Princess ValaMalDoran, offer her half of all the Goa'uld objects for herself, and bade her and her consort to rule."

-0-0-0-

Following their discussion Jeron insisted the Princess and her slave stay in the Palaces' royal chambers. Immediately consenting, Vala took off, skipping delightedly behind Jeron, but Daniel held back, waiting to speak privately with Mitchell.

Mitchell grinned like the devil, and grabbing the back of Daniel's neck, he leaned in and whispered. "I'm givin' you the night off, cause I DO NOT want to write THAT report and I DO NOT want you to write THAT report. So, off you go, Sunshine, go make Vala babies, cause we all know she wants a baker's dozen of 'em." Whistling, Cam turned away and strode off.

Brows furrowed, Daniel frowned at the colonel's back a moment before turning to Sam.

Sam blinked her lashes in rapid succession, grinning at Daniel, then suddenly twisted away and took off at a sprint after Cam.

Teal'c stood with hands behind his back, legs firmly planted and his head tilted to one side. He nodded, an uncontrollable smile spreading on his usually stoic face. "Good night, DanielJackson."

Deserted by his friends – those rats - on his sinking ship, Daniel crammed his hands in his pockets, and with head down, he shuffled off slowly. Things had gotten so bizarre, he couldn't reconcile them in his overtaxed brain.

Mitchell had, unbelievably, just given him permission to...be with Vala...while on a mission, another planet, in the midst of an extremely important treaty.

Vala was at the height of her game, though she kept deferring to his authority. Odd and slightly worrisome.

Sam had purposely put them together, and she seemed quite giddy about the whole mess.

Teal'c, well Daniel had never, in all these years, seen the Jaffa smile so much, plainly happy to see them together.

Grinning, Daniel lifted his head seeing Vala waiting in the doorway, looking frighteningly serene. He never would have imagined his life would turn out so well – but could he really change old habits honed from years of war and tragedy? Maybe so, considering that little escapade on the _Hammond_. Stepping into the chamber the grin faded as Daniel's heart beat faster, once again worried he'd lose control and all would be lost.

~TBC


	6. Chapter 6

The Princess and the Problem

spacegypsy1

-0-0-0-

CHAPTER SIX

-0-0-0-

After the Princess and her slave had retired to the royal suite, and Mitchell, Carter and the Shol'va, Teal'c, had returned to their camp, the Five Tribal leaders, Jeron, Lipkin, Cardil, Silus and Arvenna, remained in conference for long hours.

Leaning forward, Jeron spoke quietly. "We will continue our negotiations with the Tau'ri, but now giving much more in exchange - including a part of the financial gains from the Goa'uld treasures. We will keep the proposal for their continued assistance in reconstructing our infrastructure, and rebuilding our Chappa'ai. Most importantly, we will negotiate the other, hidden treasures, and a larger percentage of the Naquadah mines in exchange for Princess ValaMalDoran."

"And if they refuse to give her up?" Silus frowned with concern.

Looking solemn, Cardil nodded. "We could hide her away. They will eventually leave. Once they are finished activating the Chappa'ai we will have an iris in place as they have suggested. They will be locked out. We should also have the underling, Carter, tell us how to block anyone from the magic transferring in light."

Everyone nodded their approval of that plan.

"And what of her slave?" Lipkin appeared a bit frazzled. "Also, have you considered the aspect of stealing away a princess from a people who carry large weapons and possess a warship?"

"Hmph!" Arvenna cut in. "They are not so stupid as to use their weapons against us. They are not like the Goa'uld. It is imperative that we keep the slave, Jackson, also. He is a warrior and a scholar," she said, thinking to herself..._and rather handsome. _"Hewill be an asset. It is quite apparent that the Princess defers to his knowledge...somewhat."

Lipkin balk with a fearful squeak. "He will be difficult! His skills with those weapons are more than any of our tribal warriors! This could start a war with the Tau'ri."

"Sit down, Lipkin! Arvenna is right. The Tau'ri will not start a war. They need the Naquadah. Also, I have seen the slave searching for the glowing casks depicted in the wall pictures. The very ones that are in my chambers. It is a source of energy for the Tau'ri! He has referred to it as a...ZPM – or zero point module. This, along with the Naquadah, insures our winning this negotiation and securing our future under the leadership of Queen ValaMalDoran and her consort!"

-0-0-0-

The instant the door shut behind Daniel, Vala squealed in delight, dashed across the polished floor and leapt into his arms. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms clamped tight around his neck... like a steal trap. He faltered, slightly, moving back a step.

Her megawatt grin faded the instant she saw his face clearly. "Why are you...not happy?"

"I'm happy, just worried." He tried to smile as she untangled herself from him, crossed the room and jumped upon the bed. She shot him a heated look, and he knew he was backtracking...and so did she. Old habits die hard. "Really. I'm fine. I...er...I guess I'm a bit rattled by all this. So much going on. Let's..."

"Come on, Daniel! Silk covers, feathered pillows..." Vala sat back on her heels, worried but hopeful.

He wasn't ready for this. He needed some time. They needed to talk. He needed her off that inviting bed so he could think! "Up!" Daniel grabbed her under her arms and hauled her half off the bed before she had the sense to resist.

Pulling away, Vala scooted back. He was not going to spoil this. Not this time! If Daniel thought he could get away with crawling back into his 'oh my gods I'm too afraid' shell...she had some news for him... and something else too! Vala loosened her hair, ran her fingers through the mass of curls, lowered the straps on her dress, to dangle down her arms, reached behind her and unzipped it, all the while her eyes soft and inviting on Daniel. "Really, Daniel?" With her dress hanging loosely, she struck a provocative pose across the bed.

Daniel groaned. "Vala, come on, help me out here!"

"Oh, right." Sitting up again, her hands went for his belt.

"Stop! We need to talk. We can't...you know...here, we have to at least try to show some decorum. I have to think. I need time to figure...something out." He removed his jacket, shoes, socks and T-shirt.

"Sometimes," Vala frowned, "you really don't make much sense at all, Daniel! Here we are in this lovely, romantic room, with this incredibly comfortable bed, alone, you're taking your clothes off and you want to talk." With a sultry pout, Vala took her arms from the dress straps and placed a hand at the center, letting the bodice slip just so, hiked a brow, and with a throaty purr, she informed him. "You're already trapped, darling. I'm sorry to tell you, but you can't backtrack now. Much too late. I'm the spider and you're my lovely, juicy fly... besides, didn't Mitchell give us the night off? And you happen to be standing here in your boxers. What does that tell you?"

Daniel didn't even remember stripping out of his BDU pants. "You're going to be the death of me, you know that?"

"What better way to die?" Kneeling on the bed, Vala slipped her dress off, tossed it behind her and wiggled under the covers. "Come to bed, darling. We'll sleep, or talk if that's what you really want to do. But, dearest...I think I can help you figure out whatever it is that's got you skittish. Yet again." She raised the covers invitingly, doing her best Cheshire Cat grin. "Come here, Daniel, you're safe with me...I promise."

_Said the spider to the fly._ Daniel climbed into the bed fully conscious of where his life was headed.

-0-0-0-0-

Early the next morning the serving girl, Millia, entered with a breakfast tray, Jeron right behind her.

Embarrassed, Daniel slunk lower in the bed, pulling the covers nearly to his chin as Vala sat up, fluffed her hair and tucked the covers up under her arms. She posed against the pillow, looking for all the world like some goddess.

Jeron could not take his eyes off of the regal Princess ValaMalDoran.

"You needed something?" Daniel growled, glaring at Jeron.

"I am sorry. I was taken by the beauty of Princess ValaMalDoran. My apologies." Jeron forced his gaze away from Vala. "I have come to offer the Princess and yourself a proposal from the people of Boldera and the leaders of the Five Tribes."

Daniel didn't hear much of what he said, except for the comment about Vala's beauty. He'd turned his face to her, and was struck by the truth of the man's simple words. Her alabaster skin glowed, black tresses framed her face, and her lips were still red and swollen from his kisses. His heart seemed to skip a beat and he wanted to tell her how much he loved her.

When Daniel remained silent, Vala looked askew, checking to see if she had an angry Daniel, or a sleepy Daniel, or perhaps, a confused Daniel. What she found had her pivoting her head completely towards him. She had an adoring, sweet, dreamy, Daniel, looking at her with such love, he took her breath away. "Darling?"

"Hmm?" He could barely get the hum out.

"Did you hear what the nice man said?" Flustered, Vala's smile tilted sideways, and she bit at her lip, brows going crooked.

"I love you." He whispered, grinning wide and happy.

"No, darling, he said...What did you say!" Vala's eyes opened wide as her hand shot out trying to shoo the audience away.

"If I could have a moment of your time." Jeron tried to interrupt.

"I haven't told you that. And I should have. I love you, Vala." Placing a hand on her check, Daniel kissed Vala softly.

Millia clasped her hands over her heart and sighed.

Daniel broke the kiss reluctantly, turning back to Jeron, while Vala stared at Daniel in awe, unable to turn away.

Jeron cleared his throat and began again. "We, the people of Boldera, would like for you both to stay and lead the Five Tribes. We wish you to be Queen and Consort, or if you choose, Princess and..." the man flushed red, not knowing what to call the Beloved Slave Jackson.

"Prince, sir." Millia offered, timidly.

"Ah, yes, of course! The Princess and her Prince! We offer you all the riches, this palace, all thirty temples, and the Naquadah mines. You must negotiate with the Tau'ri, to avoid any confrontation. You may, if you desire, give them all of the Naquadah. We are prepared to offer much more...and we intend to do whatever it takes to have you. You will have our respect, our loyalty, and anything you desire."

~TBC


	7. Chapter 7

-0-0-0-

CHAPTER SEVEN

-0-0-0-

At first, Daniel blinked, squinting at the man and Vala squeaked, her head spinning towards Jeron as the man spouted his preposterous proposal.

The Leaders of the Five Tribes wanted a Princess and, if necessary, her consort. They wanted Vala and Daniel to remain and rule their planet!

Daniel's thoughts were on the vast rich Naquadah mine's resources there for just a second before his mind went full tilt the other direction – how perfect it would be...spending the rest of his life on a peaceful planet with Vala. Insane!

Vala couldn't believe it! She hadn't done a thing, and she'd scored the deal of a lifetime. Palaces, riches, Naquadah and adoring underlings. And she didn't even want it. All that mattered was her Daniel. Anywhere, wherever, as long as she was with him. Incredible!

Jeron continued, reading from the notes he held, outlining the negotiating tactics, and jabbering some nonsense about Daniel's heritage. When at last he finished his bizarre speech, the man bowed.

Clearing his throat, sitting straight up, and covers forgotten, Daniel said simply... "What!"

Millia's mouth dropped open at the sight of Daniel's bare chest as Vala managed to hold back a laugh.

"Think it over. I will return for your answer." Jeron handed over a diamond about the size of a golf ball, which Vala let him place in the palm of her hand.

Then the two visitors departed without ceremony.

"I love you too, Daniel...or is that Prince Daniel?" Vala grinned, teeth clamped, and shoulders up.

Daniel shot out of bed and rushed to dress. "I have got to go talk to Mitchell! This is the by far the weirdest planet I have ever been on. I'll be back...soon." He kissed her roughly, and hurried out, leaving Vala grinning, the diamond perched on her palm.

"A girl could get used to all this attention...while ruling a planet with Daniel – having royal children to govern through the ages, Daniel at my beck and call." Vala tossed the diamond towards the end of the bed and grabbed the breakfast tray.

-0-0-0-0-

Out of breath from running to the team's camp, Daniel came to a halt around their morning fire, startling them when he immediately started talking ninety to nothing between gasps for air. "You won't believe...I...they...she...this is nuts, guys. They think Vala is a princess...I mean, like a royal princess...they want to trade for her...me...to stay and rule the Five Tribes...they won't take no for an answer...and Vala isn't any help at all...imagine that! Jeron insists we negotiate...they..."

Mitchell stood suddenly, dumping the MRE in his lap onto the ground. "Did we just shift to a parallel universe?"

"So they really do think she's a real Princess? And you're her slave? And they want you two to rule Boldera?" Sam held the forkful of eggs stalled near her mouth.

Sighing in exasperation, Daniel rushed on. "He kept insisting I was some royalty before I was captured, put into slavery, and saved by the 'princess.' Holy buckets! They want us to be the Queen and consort or king, prince...whatever!"

"And through the wormhole to an alternate reality?" Still in state of confused shock, Mitchell added to his earlier comment.

Daniel continued at a faster pace. "We have to get her back to the ship. As soon as possible. Before this entire deal goes out the window. I'll arrange to take her. Even if I have to throw her over my shoulder and haul her back!"

"Won't be the first time." Grinning now, Mitchell kept his gaze on the frustrated archeologist.

"Mak lo onak." Teal'c stared at Daniel.

Setting aside her breakfast, Sam stood and began to up pack up their camp. "You can say that again!"

"Mak lo onak." Teal'c turned to Sam, repeating as instructed.

"Come on guys, give me a break! Do you realize how much trouble we're in?" Daniel ran a hand through his hair.

"Not us, Prince Charming, that'd be you and the Princess. We just need to find a way to get you two off the planet, and keep our deal for the Naquadah. Otherwise, you're gonna be raisin' little princesses and princes right here on Boldera. Nice place, though."

"Cam." Sam scolded. "We have to figure out what we can do. There has to be some way to talk them out of keeping you and as Cam said, keep our deal."

"The Bolderians seem quite taken with ValaMalDoran, and her standing as a royal leader...at least in their eyes. I do believe it would be difficult to convince them otherwise."

"Well, the Princess is the Queen of the Con. So, Jackson, you're gonna have to talk to your lady and get her thinkin' like in the old days."

"Oh, great." Daniel frowned, hands on his hips, and head shaking. "Yeah, that'll work. By the time she's finished you guys will be banned from Boldera and I'll be the Beloved Slave of Princess ValaMalDoran...happily chained to her bed. I guess that wouldn't be so bad. Oh, crap, I can't believe I said that out loud."

-0-0-0-

A fire blazed in the royal chambers, casting a golden glow throughout the luxurious room.

Everyone was yelling, well everyone but Teal'c. Mitchell yelled the loudest, and Sam the least. Vala's words were cut short by Daniel every time she attempted to yell anything. Daniel's were precise, logical and direct – but loud enough.

Jeron's words, while quite loud, were confused. Lipkin's fear driven, Silus' demanding, Cardil's were cautious, and Arvenna's were always directed at Daniel, and yelled out more to get his attention then to make a point.

Accusations fired back and forth. Tempers flared. The royal chambers echoed with the heated discussion.

Finally, Jeron reached into a satchel and held up a ZPM, telling the team that another one existed, and the Five Tribes would turn one over, and possibly both of them, in exchange for the Princess and her beloved slave, Jackson.

Mitchell turned to Daniel. "Hey, Beloved Slave Jackson, that's somethin' to think about, two ZPMs seems like a hell of a trade for you two!"

Daniel glared at the colonel. "Don't be an ass, Mitchell. We can work this out. Somehow." He straightened his shoulders and moved closer – for a better look at the ZMP – ever the diplomat he smiled wanly. "Jeron, let us have a few days to talk this over. Make plans."

Appearing suspicious, Jeron studied Daniel and then glanced at Princess ValaMalDoran. She smiled, winked, and then nodded her consent. Jeron brought his beady eyes back to Daniel. "Two days. No more. We will be watching you."

Seeing the exchange, Daniel rolled his eyes. Sometimes he just wanted to strangle her, or kiss her, or both.

-0-0-0-

After the leaders of the Five Tribes left, Vala and Sam sat on the bed, while Mitchell, Teal'c, and Daniel all paced around the room.

"We need to find a real princess for them or a queen or king. As much as I would love to take the dig...ah, gig, I think Daniel wouldn't and I go where Daniel goes." Vala slid off the silk coverlet, bare feet slapping the tiled floor.

Daniel approached her with a smile and a grateful nod.

"Harry Maybourne!" Sam blurted out as she jumped from the bed.

"Carter, that's what they pay you for! You're a genius." Cam winked at Sam. "How do we find him?"

"Wait a minute." Daniel took a step forward. "What makes you think Maybourne would leave his current kingdom?"

"Hmm." Mitchell scratched his head, puzzled, then turned towards Teal'c.

With a breath as close to a sigh as the Jaffa could manage, Teal'c bowed his head towards his CO. "ColonelMaybourne - King Arkhan the First - would most certainly be attracted by the money. And this palace. He could possibly bring his wives as well as his subjects with him. Also, the planets and their people are similar."

Jabbing a pointed finger in Teal'c's direction, Mitchell grinned boyishly, "and that's what they pay you for!"

"I'm in. Let's go get him!" Vala tightened her pigtail bands, rubbed her hands together, and then jerked her jacket down.

"You two aren't goin' anywhere." Cam checked the roll on his sleeve, making sure all was in order, then narrowed his eyes at Vala's pouting face. "We don't want to upset the natives. Remember, they're gonna be watchin' you. Besides, the prince here needs to talk them out of at least one of those ZPMs. You've got another couple of days off, with just a bit of bargaining to do. Have at it...ah, damn...I mean the talkin' them out of the ZPMs."

~TBC


	8. Chapter 8

-0-0-0-

CHAPTER EIGHT

-0-0-0-

"Where have your underlings gone?" Jeron demanded.

Looking up from her dinner, Vala smiled sweetly. "To bring back King Arkhan the First, we need his permission. Though, he has been ruling elsewhere, he just might want to move here and rule. He has much better ruling skills, you know. I haven't ruled...well not really myself...that is...though I have a bit of memory of that nightmare...but it wasn't actually me. King Arkhan, now, he's a true ruler, a magnificent Monarch, a King of Kings. So, he may be coming to negotiate – he loves to do that... take over larger kingdoms." Vala looked across to where Daniel sat before the fire, reading. "Isn't that right, darling?"

Lifting his eyes from his book, Daniel looked over the rim of his glasses. "Right. Jeron, he's a strong and knowledgeable king. We don't match his skills, though he might not be interested in your planet, as he has a small one of his own. Though," Daniel added with a thoughtful frown, "he would be more attracted by the palace and temples then we are. Vala and I tend to like the smaller places more, spaceships, small moons, little towns and the like." Having said his piece, Daniel went back to reading.

Interest peeked, Jeron approached Daniel. "This King Arkhan, he is practiced well in ruling an entire planet?"

"Oh, yeah," Daniel commented not taking his eyes from his reading. "Princess Vala, well she's used to ruling an army out in space. And she was a bit...well...harsh, if you know what I mean. She can be difficult. I have the scars to prove it."

Jeron's brows shot up in surprise. "Scars?" His voice broke on the word.

"Right. Large whelping, deep scars." Daniel finally raised his eyes again, this time faking a frightened look.

"Darling," Vala interjected with a defensive moue, "I've apologized for those. Every time." When Jeron turned a startled face towards her, Vala grimaced. "I can't help it. And I do have some healing skills, so you won't suffer long. I promise."

Body tense, Jeron took several steps back. "I must go and consult with the others about King Arkhan. When can we expect him?"

Vala waved a hand in the air. "Who knows, maybe never. He is so kind and lovable, his people may not let him go...or they might follow him here. I don't know how he rules with such a gentle nature. I just can't seem to get a handle on that. But, I'll be here just in case he doesn't come. Once I have the dungeons back up and running, things will fall in place around here. I'm not sure anyone has told you...but I was once a Goa'uld."

Jeron bowed quickly and literally ran out of the room.

Clamping a hand over her mouth to stifle the laugh, Vala fell back on the bed, eyes closed and muffled laughter escaping her attempt to control it. She heard the click of the door lock just before she felt the bed sink, and opened her eyes to find Daniel looming over her.

"Witch!" He smiled, kissing her nose.

"Slave! Service me now, or suffer more scars!" She demanded, finally bursting out into full blow laughter.

Daniel captured her laugh with his mouth.

-0-0-0-0-

"General." Mitchell nodded at Jack as he materialized on the deck of the _George Hammond_.

Teal'c gave his former CO a real smile. "It is good to see you, O'Neill."

"Likewise, T. Hey, Carter! What the hell kind of message was that?" Any fool could see Jack was happy to see her.

"A desperate one, General. Daniel and Vala are being held on Boldera, awaiting the outcome. They might end up having to stay there, plus we could lose most or all of the Naquadah and a ZPM or two - unless we want a fight. Boldera wants a monarch, so we need your expertise in convincing Maybourne to take the bait."

"Harry Maybourne!" Jack blurted out, incredulous.

"King Arkhan the First, O'Neill. We need to trade him for Princess ValaMalDoran and her beloved slave, Jackson." Teal'c relayed the information with his usual blank face.

"Ya don't say? Princess and slave. King Arkhan. Naquadah. And Two ZPMs. Sounds like a fairy tale, certainly sounds more fun than the pile of papers on my desk. Give me the entire story, the complete list of bait, and any other perks we can use. How's the slave holding up under the Princess?"

Mitchell, Sam, and Teal'c exchanged a comical look.

"Oh, I'm sure Prince Wonderboy's holdin' up...just fine, whether he's over or under the Princess." Mitchell finally said, getting a wide eyed response from Sam, a raised brow from the Jaffa, and a curious look from Jack.

-0-0-0-

"Well," Maybourne confessed, looking around his village, "as you can see, we've lost almost half the adults to a virus that spread like wildfire, and the rest of us are barely holding on. We haven't had the numbers needed to bring in the crops, and most of the harvest rotted in the fields. I thought maybe I'd contact you for help in a month if things didn't get any better. So here we are. I guess somebody had it right...when one door closes another one opens."

Jack stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Maybourne, you're one lucky son of a bitch. I don't know how you do it."

Harry shrugged. "It's a gift, Jack."

"Sure it is. So we have a deal?"

"We always have a deal." Harry turned to Mitchell. "Jackson's sure I can bring all my people?"

"Yeah, they've sealed the exchange, one ZPM, half of all Naquadah mined, tons of the loot to sell and a third of that profit to cover our expenses – leavin' a large chunk of treasure for the new ruler, plenty of Naquadah, a sprawlin' Palace and thirty stocked and deluxe temples...for your folks, Maybourne." Mitchell pointed towards Carter to continue.

Sam rested a hand on her P-90. "The Stargate and DHD are done, Dr. Lee and SG-2 finished that. Vala somehow worked her con and have the Five Tribes more than grateful to accept you, well, to accept King Arkhan the First."

"So let's head 'em up and move 'em out." Mitchell walked off, tugging Maybourne towards the huddled villagers across the square.

Jack sauntered over to stand close behind Sam. "Carter. You have any time off when you bring these clowns home?"

"Umm, I could leave Vala on the ship to complete her tests in orbit. That'd give me some time. What did you have in mind?" Sam kept her eyes focused across the village as Maybourne spoke to his people.

"Nutin' just wondering. Maybe I'd like to do a little fishing."

"Sounds good." Sam tilted her head back and smiled up at Jack. "But first I have to take a King to Boldera to trade for a Princess and her slave. I'm sure they'd appreciate the rescue. Most likely, Daniel's close to being fed up with Vala."

-0-0-0-

Daniel was on his back, his hand on the rise of Vala's bum. She was curled up half on top of him, her hand riding low on his stomach, where the silk cover lay across him.

"Daniel," Vala whispered, so tired she could barely speak. "If they don't convince this Maypole/King Arcade person to come and we do end up having to stay here, so that Earth can have the ZPMs and Naquadah, could you be happy...at all?"

He smiled, turning his head and kissing her hair. "Yes. And they've already said they're bringing him, so stop worrying." Daniel paused a moment, squeezing her close. "But if they didn't, I'd be happy as long as you're here with me. Wherever we're together. That's fine with me."

Sighing, Vala snuggled closer. "Me too. We'd have to have lots of babies."

"Understood. I've known that for awhile now, since you talk about it all the time." He kissed her forehead.

Yawning, she ran her hand up to his chest, placing it over his heart. "And, you'd have to rule, I'd get all flustered, and beside..." She yawned again, "I'll be busy with the children."

"Um, 'kay. Will do. Whatever you want." Vala's sleepy yawn had Daniel yawning too.

Too far gone to lift her head, Vala's words were muffled against his chest. "Darling," she paused nearly nodding off to sleep, "have you been drinking that fruity wine, again?"

Turning, he took her completely in his arms. "Nope. Just drunk on love. I'm sure by the time I'm ninety, I'll be fed up with you."

Vala mumbled. "Good, by that time I'll have a young lover and..." she fell asleep before she could finish.

"Over my dead body." Daniel closed his eyes and drifted to sleep with a smile on his face.

~END


End file.
